Of Witches and Werewolves
by Pineapple Inc
Summary: Fate hates Chris. Death hates Chris. That was the only explanation why he moved into the territory with werewolves, met a vampire, and is housed with a mad warlock turned cat! If only that were the end!
1. The New Student

A/N: Dudes! Howdy! This is my first story on . At least I hope. And I wanted to give you all a heads up first because I know a lot of you will catch a lot of mistakes. **YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS!!!!!!!**

Firstly, I didn't read Twilight. I don't even like it! But I saw how hot Taylor Lautner was so I decided what the hell!! Let's change the damn story! So he will not compete for Bella's love and there won't be any of that angsty stuff with Edward sucking her blood. They are already together! This is basically a rewrite of the entire series, I guess.

Next! Nothing in this story has Sabrina or the two Aunts in it!!! I'm just borrowing Salem for this thing. They have nothing to with this story. They never will.

Finally! Chris is now 16. It will be explained in the story at some point so no worries! I just decided to make him younger for Jacob's sake. Yay! Oh! And James is alive. Oh!! Again! Chris is OCC so don't flame me for that! That's it!!!! Onto whatever you want to call this!

**Disclaimer:** Ok, you see the blue link next to Author that has my penname? That means I'm writing a fanfiction story. If I did own Twilight, Charmed, and Salem Saberhagen (God that's a long name) I would turn it into a TV show on LOGO! For idiots who don't know what that is, it's the gay channel. So I don't own them. Sorry to disappoint.

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**~~~CHAPTER 1~~~~~**

**ThE NeW StUdEnT**

The doors to the main office opened as a vibrant teen walked in. His chocolate brown hair ruffled as he entered and his green eyes locked onto the desk lady. He walked up to her and tried to get her attention.

"Excuse me?"

She didn't look away nor did she stop talking into the phone.

"Excuse me?"

She spared him a glance and pointed behind him. He turned to look and saw what she was pointing at. Three chairs sat there, next to the window. One was occupied by a student who looked like he was in serious trouble. At least that's what the cuffs suggested. The teen's eyes widened as realization came on. He turned back to the lady.

"Oh no. That's not for me. I'm a ne-"

The lady cut him off by pointing back at the chairs. The boy smiled grimly and looked at her.

"Okay, look. These are new pants and I really don-"

She gave him a sharp look and pointed at the chairs again.

"Obviously you feel very strongly about this," he said in dejection.

He sighed and turned. He walked to the farthest seat from the cuffed student. He watched as he turned to look at him. The brown haired teen saw that the other had RIP tattooed onto his forehead. He smiled in a cocky form.

"Hey cool! I have that same tattoo on my ass!"

The cuffed teen growled and tried to jump at the other but the cuffs were chained to the chair so he didn't get far. The other looked at him and smirked.

"I cannot believe you didn't try those out first," He laughed, "So what'd you do? Break a window with a teacher's head?"

"A student," The other furrowed his eyebrow at him, "How'd ya know? Ya psychic?"

No, you just have glass with blood on your shirt. He thought.

"Christopher Perry?" a lady called from an office.

Chris got up and followed her into the office. He sat down in the chair as she sat down behind her desk. She opened a file and smiled kindly at the teen.

"Chris, I'm Principal Roberts. I guess I'll be your new principal. First, I would like to ask why your parents did not fill out your registration."

"I don't have any parents. I have no guardians either. I live by myself and my cat. That's it."

"Oh, I'm sorry about that. It's just that your file says nothing about your parents. Next is about your classes. You understand that you must have four of the major classes consisting of Science, History, Math, and English. Since you are in eleventh grade, you have three electives. So, for your Science, what would you like?"

Chris thought about it, "Geosystems."

"And your History class?"

"Um, Psychology?"

Mrs. Roberts paused, "That's not-"

"I know. Just do it."

Her eyes flashed briefly before moving on, "Math."

"Geometry."

"English."

"AP English 11."

She smiled before moving on, "Next are your electives. We've already sent you the choices, so have you chosen?"

"Yup! Art 3, Latin 4, and Cooking 201."

The principal raised her eyebrows at this before telling him he could go. Chris grinned before making his way out of the building. It soon disappeared as a voice floated through his thoughts.

_Controlling the principal with magic because she was going to ask a lot of questions, my oh my, where did the good Chris go?_

Chris ignored it with a scowl and walked determinately to a café. He went inside and ordered a drink. He drank a little of it when it came before walking out to get a newspaper. He stopped, however as a cop car walked up to him.

"Young man, aren't you supposed to be in school?"

Chris looked at the man before replying, "I'm new and waiting for my schedule to go through. Please leave."

The cop stiffened before turning away and leaving. Chris grinned and walked back inside with his paper. It disappeared when he saw a woman sitting in his seat. He walked over to her and tapped her. She turned to him and he got a full look at her. She was pale. Really pale and beautiful. Chris shook himself and glared at her.

"That's my seat."

She furrowed her eyebrows at him before saying, "No. I was sitting here."

"No, I was. I went outside to get the paper," He held up his paper, "I ordered a drink-pointed to the drink-and made a little crawling snake-and picks up the twisted wrapper."

"Sorry," She said, "Would you like me to move?"

"Not anymore," Chris smiled as he sat down next to her.

She smiled back, "I may be a little too old for you."

"Oh, it's okay!" He waves her off, "I'm gay."

She laughs before her eyes turned red. She blinks in surprise before smiling. Chris Picked up the thoughts that she thought he didn't see. He gasped before pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"Oh my god. Oh my god."

"What," She questioned.

"You're a vampire," Chris whispered.

Her eyes widened before moving to deny it. Chris stopped her.

"I knew it. Beautiful, pale skin, red eyes! Oh my god! Can't I walk into a town and _not _have magical creatures there in disguise?" he whispered in despair.

"How did you know that? Are you a creature too?"

Chris nodded before murmuring, "I'm a witch."

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Ah! The accursed cliffhanger of doom! Whatever shall you do!!!! Oh!!!!!! I know!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!! FEED MY HUNGER!!!!!!


	2. Vampy and Wolfies UNITE!

Oh My god!!! I can tell you right now that taking pictures with two toddlers in it is **not **a good idea. We spent seven hours just to take five damn pictures. It ended up with one crying 14 month old. God my life sucks! So here is an update!!! Sorry it took so goddamn long! RAWR!!!!

**Disclaimer- **Does it look like I own this? If I did, Bella would be killed, Edward would be having a threesome with Jacob and Chris, and James would be raping Salem! But I don't so there!

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**Chapter 2**

**VaMpY AnD WoLfY UnItE!!!**

The woman narrowed her eyes. They flashed red briefly before she growled. Chris widened his eyes before putting his hands up in a surrendering way.

"Woah, lady! Cease fire! Obviously I have offended you somehow! "

"A witch," She hissed, "Last that I checked, they were evil! You have come to this town to bring misfortune with your trickery!"

Chris gave her an odd look, "Evil? Really? What witch did you meet?"

"A male witch by the name of Salem S-"

"Saberhagen?"

She nodded as Chris groaned and smacked his head. She looked at him with guarded curiosity.

"When was this meeting exactly?" Chris asked.

"In about the end of the 1800s. Why?" She asked while glaring at him.

"Well, he now has been punished with 100 years as a cat for trying to take over the world. It's quite funny to watch him play with a ball of yarn."

The lady's face turned skeptical as Chris laughed in humor of the image in his head. He stopped when he noticed that the lady wasn't the only one staring at him. His face flushed brightly as he coughed lightly and drank his smoothie. The lady smiled briefly before holding out her hand.

"Esme Cullen."

Chris grinned widely and shook the hand, "Chris Perry."

"Well dear Chris, I must be going," she said as she stood up, "I have a dinner to cook."

Chris waved goodbye to her before drinking his smoothie again. He finished it and headed out. Chris' home was in the forest. Not just any forest, but the Werewolves' forest. Their territory. Granted, Chris wasn't in his right mind when choosing the location of his home, but he seriously was regretting it now. Salem was at home, most likely sleeping, and the werewolves were standing outside his home. Man, did they look pissed.

Chris winced before preparing to orb. One of the wolves saw him and alerted the others. Chris smiled sheepishly as he orbed in white and blue lights, reappearing in his living room. He relaxed his shoulders and let out a huff of air. Man, was that scary.

"Well, this isn't something ya see every day," the cat on the sofa said.

Chris glared at him, "Shut it, Salem! Next thing ya know, everyone'll unite to hunt me down!"

Later on, Chris decided it was better to shut his mouth about things like that.

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Chris promised that the next person to knock on his door would be dead. It was twelve o'clock and the visitors kept coming! First, it was the vampires saying that they wanted to kill him before they killed him. Then it was the werewolves that wanted to rip his throat apart for being on their land. After that, it was Clarence and Jesse. It took him two hours to get the last two out of his house.

Clarence was the Arch Angel of Death. Jesse was the only Angel of Fate around. In the magical world, they were the two that controlled everything. After all, the two most important things to people were when they died and what would become of them.

They had decided it was a good idea to check up on their ward. Ok, just because they rewarded him with a new life, doesn't mean he's their new 'toy'. Chris hated them! First, they gave him eternal life. Then they sentenced Salem to live with him as his Familiar and freaking companion till the end of time! Finally, they send him to the past to get a good feel of the world.

They were idiots!!!!!

When the doorbell rang again and someone knocked frantically on his door did Chris finally decide to commit his first murder.

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Ok, so it's a short as hell chapter. I'm sorry! But only, like one person reviewed!!! I like how you all add me to your faves and all, but I want reviews!!! They are the window to your mind that tell me whether or not my story is good or total shit! THANK YOU!!!!!!!_


	3. Chris' Gude to Stay Alive!

Hello, my dear readers! This is me! The one, the only, PowerfulPineapple!!!!! I have decided to update now and I most certainly will update on Christmas! For now, welcome to the sum of Me+Pepsi which equals, dun dun dun dun!!!

**Dramatic Pause!**

THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Disclaimer- **Obviously, I don't own this damn thingy! If I said I did, I would be sued for taking credit of a book and show that are not mine!!!! These are owned by whoever the author was of the stuff are. Wow! That was hard to process.

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**A dAy In ScHoOl! ChRiS' gUiDe CaLlEd TrYiNg To StAy AlIvE!!!!**

There were many things that could set a witch off. By that, it means piss off. They could be screwed over by the high and almighty Elders or have their dinner ruined by a demon. For Chris, the one thing that set him off was his life….and how it turned out in the end.

You see, from a young age, Chris could remember mostly everything. He remembered his first word. He remembered the first time his mother called him peanut. He even remembered hi wickening. So of course he remembered the first time he got pissed off. Which was at a bully. That resulted in the hospitalization of said child. That, of course was the first time he got screwed over.

First, his father- Who he refused to call dad back then- missed his fifth birthday, starting the long string of negligence. Then he remembered when his mother died, setting off his brother's 'I'm-gonna-rule-the-world-because-I'm-all-powerful' attitude. After that, Chris went to the past after the last attempts of the Resistance- Which he was the founder of- failed in trying to capture Wyatt. Soon after that, he got caught into a long string of lies with his family.

First he's a whitelighter who can't heal.

Then he's a witchlighter with a dead fiancé.

Finally he's the unborn son of Piper Halliwell.

Yup, string of lies with this family. Next, he died from that asshole Gideon's blessed knife. He was so _sure _he would get a break, but did he?

NO!!!!

Instead, he was summoned by the Archangels to be rewarded eternal life for saving the damn future. Did he want it? No. Did he get a say in it? Nooo. So they gave him eternal life and decided to send him back in time so he could get used to hiding about the realms as an immortal. They just _had _to send him back to the 12th century. Oh yea! No electricity and indoor plumbing for a couple hundred years! The only good thing was that it gave him new spells and insight for magic from back then.

After sending him back, a couple hundred years later, they give him Salem! As his familiar!!!! So, not only did he have to life and wait till the 21st century for anything interesting, he lived with a maniac!!!! Who was turned into a cat!!!! When they finally reached the 21st century, Chris decided it would be a good idea for them to settle down in a town or something. So they went to Forks, Washington. And they moved into werewolves' territory. Oh yea, his life sucked now.

At this very moment, Chris was battling his conscious –who sounded a lot like Salem- to go into the one place he didn't like at all.

High school.

Of course, Chris being as old as he was, he didn't have to go to school, but him being as he looked, he had no choice. Yes, those two idiots in the sky had made him eternally sixteen. They had said something about his fate or something. They were idiots. This of course was why he was looking at the other thing that life had screwed him over in. The high school.

The somewhat sixteen year old witch was looking at the bane of his existence in disgust. Why did he have to go there again? Oh yea, the stupid human laws. Blah.

_Oh, quit being a coward! _That was Salem in his head. _Get the day over with. Hurry so you can get over here and feed me!_

Chris just sighed as he looked down at his schedule, shifting his backpack on his shoulder. Great, first he had Geometry. He could just feel the tension building up in him as he walked through the school, to get to his first class. God, he hoped a meteor would hit him now. Or the school.

Damnit, He thought as he entered the classroom, I have first period with a vampire and a werewolf.

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Me gat! A short chappy!!! Well on Christmas, how would yall like a little lemon for a present???? Huh? Say what? Ya do? Yay!!!! Please review before I die because of starvation!


	4. Counting is Hard

HOHOHO!!!! Merry Christmas!! My fans! My reviewers! My lifeblood! This is for all of you!!!! An update! That is what Santa Pineapple has given to you all! If you with to give me a gift, send a pineapple to the alter sacrifice to me! The sweet nectar of all things flavorful! Pineapple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Disclaimer- **

Polly looks around the hall, noticing the stares as Judge Judy was about to make her statement. Polly opened her mouth and declared

"I don't own anything!"

The judge sighs and says, "She has a disclaimer that says she doesn't own it. You can't sue her for being a better writer."

The owners of Twilight, Charmed, and STTW all pouted.

I DON'T OWN THIS!!!!!!!!!

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**CoUnTiNg Is HaRd!**

Chris felt the hairs on his neck stiffen as he noticed the two nonhumans in the class. The vampire was tall and pale, also thin. His hair was a brown color that went with his yellow eyes. Kind of. He sat next to a girl with brown hair like his, with the exception that she was human. The werewolf was actually kind of cute, in that weird sort of way. He had black hair and brown eyes. He was muscular and really hot.

_Oh god! _Salem said to him, _You're probably gonna be ripped apart by him sooner or later and you think he's HOT?! What's wrong with you?_

_**Shut it Salem, **_Chris said, discreetly wiping some drool from his face. He kind of was messed up.

The teacher finally took notice of him. She smiled at him before stopping the class.

"Yes?"

Chris looked at her before he replied, "I'm the new student?"

The woman smiled brightly and chuckled, "Oh that's right! Class this is Chris Perry. He'll be joining us for the year. Chris, honey, why don't you say hi to the class and tell them something about yourself!"

Chris looked at her strangely thinking, Are we in grade school? None the less he stood awkwardly in front of the class. He gulped and waved at them.

"Hi? …I'm Chris….I guess. I- Do I really need to do this?"

The teacher looked taken aback at the question directed at her. She nodded and said for him to go on. Chris frowned before thinking about something to say. Finally he thought about something to say.

"I'm under the legal drinking age," Chris turned to the slightly frazzled looking teacher, "Can I sit down now?"

She glared at him, "No! How about something about yourself that's not obvious!"

Chris just shrugged and said, "I can do the hokey pokey!"

The teacher sighed before telling him to take a seat. Chris grinned and walked toward an open seat, as far away from the two nonhumans as he could get. Meaning he was on the other side of the room. Chris settled in his seat as the teacher continued the lesson, droning on and on. Chris felt himself distant as he looked out the window, ignoring everything else.

Chris felt his thoughts drift to the last visitor at his door. It had been someone very unexpected. It had been his Gram. Who was still dead in this time. She had been given permission to know of his situation and about who he really was. She was to be her helper and go to witch for the family of dead women. Blah! She basically told him to stay out of trouble and don't kill anyone. Ha! Like he could get away with it! Chris' inner thoughts were driven away as the teacher called out to him.

"Mr. Perry! If you find that you don't need to pay attention during this important lesson then tell me the answer to the question on the board."

Chris glanced at the board before he said, "6/X squared."

The teacher blinked before saying, "That's right."

Chris smirked as the teacher continued on with the lesson. He changed it to a scowl as he felt the vampire dig into his thoughts. It was so annoying!

_**Please stop it**_, Chris directed his thoughts to said vamp, who in turn looked startled, _**Yes, I know you're trying to read my mind. I would appreciate it if you would refrain from it, you stupid flea. **_

The vampire looked distraught, his friends asking if he was alright.He quickly told them he was fine, and went back to the lesson.

Well, at least he'll leave me alone now, Chris thought to himself, somehow knowing that not to be true.

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Yay! Still a short as hell chapter! All right people, I've gotz a question! **PLEASE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!! **How would yall feel if I put a random person from a different show in here???? Tell me in a review! Just for the info, it's Envy from FMA that I'm thinking of!


	5. Evil Vampire Ex's like Chicken

Another Chapter!!!!! Dudes, how long has it been? What only like two weeks!? Aw! Sorry to keep yall waitin! This here is for you all!!! I have decided that adding a new character would be a hassle. Also, it would stray my ming from the plot. So no Envy. (Damn!) Here is a new chapter.

**Disclaimer-** I do not own. I do not own. I do not own. Cow. I do not own. I do not own!

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**EvIl VaMpIrE eXs LiKe **… **ChIcKeN!**

Chris could feel the day's events taking its toll on him. He had a migraine that would kill to have a body of its own. He kind of wished that he could kill vampires and demons again, but that went against what those two idiot's said. Killjoys. Oh how Chris wanted to strangle that Vamp! One more word from him and it was on! He was currently sitting at the end of their lnch table, where the others decided to migrate to.

A stray thought from Edward made its way into his head.

**I wonder if that witch is in league with James.**

Chris' first thought was, who the hell is James? Then it was, why would I be in league with him? Finally he said to the thinking vampire, "What are you thinking about?"

_Chicken!!!!_Came Salem's thought.

Chris growled. _**Not you!**_

Edward looked startled for a minute before he said, "Me? You heard that?"

Chris nodded, and then added, "Who the fuck is James, anyways?"

Edward stammered, "H-how?"

"I _can _read your mind. Like you can mine, sorta."

"James is an evil vampire that kills humans. We thought that you were his ally," another vampire, Rosalie, said.

"Still do," muttered Edward.

Chris scowled, "First of all, I don't kill humans. I may want to sometimes, I still don't."

_Mostly because I would be punished by Jesse while Clarence laughed his ass off. _Chris decided to keep that to himself.

"Secondly, I don't even know who James is!"

_Unless he's hot..nahh! Couldn't be-_

"James is a Tracker Vampire who hunts for sport," Rosalie said with disgust.

_Crap!_

"Uh…Blond guy, really tall with really blue eyes? Please say no."

At Edwards startled look, Chris felt his hopes burn to a crisp. How the hell was it that his ex-boyfriend from the late 1800's was a vampire now!? Last he checked, he went missing a few days after…oh! Duh. Never mind.

"Damnit! I thought he had died!"

"You knew him!?" Edward hissed.

"Yea!" Chris muttered, "When he was still human! Man! No wonder he missed my birthday. Oh well."

"Human? Wait? How did you know him?" Hey, that was the cute wolf guy. Yay!!

"He was my ex-boyfriend. God my life sucks!"

"Ex? " Chris felt a flash of jealousy from Jacob. Huh, that hadn't happen in a while. The last time Chris could read the emotions of a supernatural being was when…crap…when he ended up dating that demon in the 12th century. Yay! He was gonna fate a werewolf!

"Yea, I thought he died so he is my ex."

Edward flashed Jacob a knowing smile as the other growled. Chris chuckled lightly before deciding to high tail it out of there. Skip the rest of the day, yup! He liked that idea. Chris felt the grin on his face widen as he exited the school and made his way home, his backpack slung over one shoulder.

* * *

The witch sighed as he trekked the forest, going for a small hike around. He had left his stuff in the house telling Salem not to burn down the place before going for a walk.

To think, James was still alive. Given undead, too, but still alive. And he was evil? He was killing humans.

"What happened to you James," Chris said to himself, "You loved being human, so why-"

"Ask and you shall receive."

Chris gasped as a voice came from behind him. He turned to see James, not a day over 19, standing right to his nose. His mouth was positioned in a feral grin as he took hold of both of Chris' wrists. Chris glared at him.

"Let go."

James hummed before taking a nip at Chris' ear. He smirked as the other shuddered and growled. He widened his eyes when he felt his body vault backwards. He hit a tree hard and landed on the ground with a hiss.

"What are you?"

Chris breathed deeply as he felt the flush on his neck recede. He glared darkly at the vampire. His eyes darkened as the air around them grew heavy.

"What happened to you James? Why are you like this?"

James glared before hissing at the witch. He jumped off the ground, his canines sharp with ill intent. He never made it to the other as he was tackled by a very large dog. James hissed at the werewolf before going in for the kill. More howls and growls stopped him as more werewolves jumped into the clearing. A strange reddish-furred wolf stepped in front of Chris, seeming to be protecting him. Chris felt emotions of anger and hate from the wolf in front of him.

"J-Jacob?" He said, knowing that Jacob was the only one he could feel the emotions of.

The only sign that was confirmation was the flick of the wolf's ears. Chris felt his heart flutter at this.

_Aw! He really likes me! Yay!!!! _Chris heard Salem in the back of his head saying now wasn't a very good time to think that way.

James scowled, knowing when to give up. He sent Chris a look before leaving quickly. Chris felt a shudder go up his spine. This wasn't the last he'd seen of his ex.

(A/N: I thought of ending it here but decided against it. I like my life.)

The werewolves gave up their stances to circle around Chris. The brunette looked around, wondering if they were going to attack him. Jacob returned to his human form as the others sat down behind him. Jacob walked towards Chris with worry on his mind. Chris felt himself blush as the other asked if he was alright.

"Aa, I'm fine," Chris stammered, "Thanks."

Jacob's eyes filled with an unknown emotion. Chris stiffened when the other spoke.

"Why are you so smexy?"

"Huh?" Chris felt his brain freeze, "Can you repeat that. I just hallucinated."

Jacob gave him a look of concern, "Why are you on our land?"

Great, he asks him that question. Chris decided it was a good time to say…

"Uh, bye!"

Chris disappeared in bright lights. That was one thing he could never answer.

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Yay! I am finished with this chapter! Please feed me! I am starving! Somehow this seems like a long one…or it could just be me. Bye!!!!


	6. AN: SORRY!

Hi guys! I'm sorry about this, but its not an update…don't kill me… I guess now would be a good time to explain. So you all won't shoot me, of course…I like my life.

Okay! First, I was so ready to write this next chapter; I talked to my friend for advice (Blue eyed demon) and started to write it! I was almost finished and left it on my computer for the night only to wake up the next morning and see that my computer **RESTARTED WITHOUT AUTOSAVING MY CHAPTER!!!!!** It's supposed to do that after restarting, but I found out that I had like five viruses on my computer. Bleh!

When I got my computer fixed, I was finally going to write it! But then my dumbass history teacher gave me and the class a project and a ton of homework to do for the next few weeks! Thanks Mr. Laserte…-.- Yea I hate him!

Then, when I finally got done with my truckload of work from not only my crazy ass teacher, but three other teachers, I finally started the chapter again. And then the inevitable happened. I got grounded…for two weeks! So now I have returned from my grounded ass grave. I have finally started on the next chapter, which I will try to make long, and will hopefully have it posted soon into the week.

….yea, so don't kill me. Bye!!!


	7. Goddamn Plants!

Hiya!!!! Wow, it's been awhile! Sorry for the delay. This is the update you all have been waiting for! Before we start, though, I want to do a new segment of my stories. I don't know the official name for it, so I shall make my own name for it. If you know what it's called tell me. I won't change the name. It's when you all review and I answer it. I now call it…. **PINEAPPLE TALKS!!!!!**

**ShadowWolfDagger- **Dude, I love your name. Awesome! And thanx for the pineapples. I am eating them as we speak! You are my favorite reviewer because you were the first to review. I like your stories too, I read them before I ever wrote this story! Also, I'm not anything like Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga's creepy and scary, and I can't be scared of myself, now can I? Nyah! :P

**Mwhahahaha18-** Gosh your name is long! I may have spelled it wrong!! I love your reviews and the fact that I can't say your name without cackling like a madman. I practically scared the shit outta my parents trying to pronounce your name! Thanx for the reviews!

**red*robin- **Ok, now I just have to say it. Red Robin, Yum! Oh God! This is the greatest place to eat! Next to Taco bell, of course! Now, in response to your reviews, I currently have an inability to write long chapters. My mind just writes short things. That's the one thing I hate about my writing! That I can't write a long enough chapter! If I try to, I tend to get off track! One minute I'll be talking about birds, and then I'll be talking about….pineapples! It's just so hard!

**Deviously Ruined Rose-** Man, I agree with you! People need to be reviewing! Seriously! You all see the number of reviews I got? 12! And all that is from these people right here! Now, for all of you, I give you Golden Pineapples! For the rest, damn you all!!!!!

**My Secret Vice-** hmm? What's a vice??? GAH! The confusion! Put thanx for, like, not killing me! Oh!!! And for reviewing! I like that part to! Golden Pineapple to you for _not _killing me! I thank you! THANX!!!!! .

**Disclaimer-** Dudes, do you see my name? PowerfulPineapple? Lies I say! I do not own this, because if I did, then you would recognize my name! But no!!! You don't!!!! But I do own the places! They are entirely fictional and for the sake of my fic, I need them!

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**GoDdAmN pLaNtS!!!!! **

ARRGH! Chris hated this! The fact that he had to hide from supernatural beings in his own town, because they hate James and they wanted to ask him questions, was just sad! Bleh! He went to school the next day with Jacob asking if he was alright, Edward asking where James was, and Alice begging him to stay at their home for protection. The last one was kind of creepy. He was a witch! He could take care of himself!

Then, when he decided not to go to school to avoid the nagging, he put up wards so no one could enter his property. Well, okay, so it wasn't his actual legal property. It _did _belong to the werewolves, but that's beside the point! Now no one could get inside the surrounding area unless Chris or Salem let them. It was probably suicide to give Salem that right, knowing that he'd let a demon in if they said they were the pizza man, but oh well. He may need help. Like now for instance!

You see, there was a reason Chris illegally took the werewolves land. It was just like the Manor in San Francisco. In Forks, there was five points on the map that made this the great spot. The Ileguma Forest, about fifty miles out from there, was wood. The Bagone River, same distance, was water. The Skylight was air. The Delen Mt., an extinct volcano, was fire, and the iron mines were metal. That's right people, Chris home was smack on what we all know and love, a Nexus. Uh huh, the most powerful point in town.

Now then, Chris didn't take into account that the history of this place would bite him in the ass one day. Nope! He never thought that the super-powerful demon that a witch bound to the Nexus about 12 centuries ago would ever be a problem! Well, guess what! He did!!! And he can control plants too! So now, we come to this scene.

Chris and Salem are running all through the house, away from the demon chasing after them with vines and plants. They stop off into the kitchen to grab Chris' Book Of Shadows, then hightail it out of there. The two werewolves, who were supposed to keep an eye on the two refugees, jumped with caution. They watched as Chris and Salem ran from the house. They looked stunned as vines came out of the ground and made a grab for the witch. Chris saw the vines, grabbed Salem and orbed out of the wards. He landed right outside the wards. The vines stopped as a blue electrical field surrounded the house. The demon could leave!

"Ha!" taunted Salem, sticking his tongue out at the angry looking demon inside the cage, "Take that, you tree hugging hippie!"

Chris glared at Salem before smacking the cat over the head.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"Salem! Our house has been taken over by a rampaging demon and you _taunt it_!? What's wrong with you?!"

Salem looked at Chris for a moment before turning back to the demon. Realization came to his mind.

"NO! MY CATNIP!!!!" Salem jumped toward the barrier before Chris grabbed him. Salem cried out as Chris held him tightly.

"When you don't jump in there to 'save' your catnip is when I'll let you go."

Salem just whimpered, thinking about his toys and catnip still inside the house. Why his catnip!? They should have grabbed that instead of that stupid book! Why!? Chris stared at Salem for awhile before muttering, 'idiot' under his breath. A cough directed his attention to Jacob, who standing right behind him. Chris looked at him for a moment before laughing nervously.

Great! Now, he's gonna kill me! Chris thought, knowing it would be impossible. He coughed lightly and smiled awkwardly.

"Yo?"

Jacob looked at Chris intently before settling on his leg. Chris peeked at it and confirmed the deep cut that the vines carved into his leg. The bleeding was sluggish but he was losing a lot. He waited as the werewolf looked at the demon.

"A summoning gone wrong?" He asked.

Chris stared at him, shocked, before bristling, "No!"

Jacob raised his eyebrow at Chris, disbelieving.

"That damn thing was under my house and decided to try and 'feed' on me and Salem. None of that is my fault!"

Jacob looked at the witch for a moment before kneeling next to him. He looked pointedly at the cut on his leg.

"That's going to get infected."

_Hey! He cares about me!_ Chris thought before shaking his head.

"Nah. It'll heal in a minute," and true to his word, it start to close and seal off. The werewolves looked at him, stunned before Salem cut in.

"Great! Now that we've finished examining the healing witchlighter, can we _please_ do something about the demon in the house!?"

"Did that cat just talk?" asked werewolf one.

"How the hell?" werewolf two twitched when asking this.

"That's not normal…" was all Jacob said.

Salem looked at them before frowning, "You three are werewolves that turn into dogs, you have a damn treaty with blood sucking vampires, Chris is a witch that lives on your land, there's a rampaging demon in our _house_ and _I'm _the most abnormal thing you've seen? Wow!"

They all blushed while Chris laughed at the irony. When you put it that way, they do seem like idiots.

* * *

Now, this is short! But I got it done!!! I hit writer's block there for a moment before callin my friend! Nyah! Review or DIE!!!!


	8. Another AN!

Hello! You guys had better appreciate this! I'm writing this with a space bar that doesn't work to some extent. My 'd', 'f', and 'g' keys aren't even there, so you all will have to work with my mistakes. I will try to get all the spaces in, butsome of them won't space-Oh! My 'v' key just came off too. Don't you all worry (I'm making my parents get me a Logitech key board). The chapters will be coming a lot slower, as my computer has been like this for a year. Just writing this stupid thing is taking an hour. ARG! Stupid keys! Well, I hope you all understand!

-_PineappleInc. _


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